Over the Thanksgiving weekend, we played a game of Fiasco using Nick Wedig's Bad Habits playset. It's taken me a while to get to writing this up, so I may have missed some details.
Agnes Agnew, a 20-something serving her court-mandated community service by doing bookkeeping and technical work for the convent
Sister Mary Sofia, an 81-year-old nun who is not entirely in possession of her wits
Sister Mary Tyler Moore, a 78-year-old who is blind
Sister Mary Mary, Sofia's 45-year-old half sister who was pushed into joining the convent by their father to keep an eye on her sister
The story begins with the death of Sister Mary Francis, who had been the oldest nun in the convent. Mary explains to Sofia that she is now the oldest. Sofia pushes her way through the EMTs who are taking Francis's body away in order to take the "Oldest" button that Francis wore on her habit.
Father Thomas, the priest at the convent, attempts to console Sofia despite the fact that Sofia is not actually that upset over Francis's death. Tyler criticizes her for taking the "oldest" button, but Agnes breaks up the fight.
Tyler delivers a bag of communion wafers to Agnes, who is -- unbeknownst to Tyler -- lacing them with drugs from the convent's pharmacy and selling them on the street. Agnes calms her by putting on a record of her favorite song, "Call Me Maybe."
Mary has been convalescing in the medical wing after falling and breaking her hip. Agnes rolls her out into the courtyard where the cell phone reception is better so that she can upload a video of Francis's last drug-addled moments to her popular "Crazy Nuns" YouTube channel. They discuss the sorry state of the convent's finances, and Agnes offers to get the books in order and secure a lot more donations if Mary gives her free rein over the accounts.
After Agnes leaves, Mary discovers that Pope Francis has been commenting positively on her YouTube videos. Sofia comes by and, unfamiliar with smart phone technology, declares the tiny videos to be a miracle. She insists that Mary should make some videos of her discussing her views on The Gays as a form of outreach.
Sofia excitedly tells Tyler about the miracle of the videos, but Tyler is upset since her blindness prevents her from seeing them. While in Tyler's room, Sofia sees the stash of spiked communion wafers and, assuming they had just been misplaced, takes them.
Tyler goes to talk to Father Thomas about the crisis of faith she is experiencing -- how could a loving god prevent her from seeing the miracle of the videos? Thomas is unhelpful.
At her weekly conference about her community service, Agnes convinces Father Thomas to give her more leeway over the convent's finances. He says he believes that God is working through her to bless the convent.
Agnes baits Sofia into going on a dramatic homophobic rant by talking bluntly about the date she is going on with her girlfriend. Mary films it and upload it to the YouTube account.
Sofia goes to Father Thomas to insist that he fire Agnes because of her sexual orientation, but Thomas doesn't want to rock the boat, having just expressed so much confidence in her. Sofia storms out, screaming up and down the halls "Agnes is a homosexual!"
Tyler is upset at Sofia for being disruptive.
Agnes embezzles a bunch of money from a forgotten bequest in order to put on a huge bash for Francis's funeral. She receives a press release announcing that the Pope will be attending, in order to pay a visit to the convent that was producing that great YouTube channel.
Worried about how the new publicity will reflect on the convent, Mary frantically tries to delete the video of Sofia's rant. As she's doing this, the Pope arrives and sees on her phone a video of Francis's rant in the hallway. She gets upset, but Mary convinces him to at least stay for communion.
Father Thomas asks Sofia to help give communion. She adds the bag of spiked wafers to the tray.
The spiked wafers cause pandemonium as everyone at the funeral gets very high. The drugs cure Tyler's blindness, causing her to regain her faith. The Pope starts making everyone there saints. Tyler knocks over some candles, starting a fire.
Afterward, there are many videos of the chaos uploaded to YouTube. Talking to the police, Agnes blames it all on Father Thomas.
In the end, Agnes becomes a gay rights celebrity. She is not convicted for her role in distributing the drugs, but her career is over. Mary is offered a contract for one season of a Tosh.0-style show on Comedy Central. Tyler loses her sight again, and gets excommunicated. Sofia becomes a noted anti-gay campaigner, appearing frequently on Fox News, and exposes Agnes's corruption. Eventually, Sofia has a change of heart about gay rights and renounces her old views.